Should I dress my girl more girly???... Nah, she's totally rad!

It is often hard to judge a babies gender, I totally get that. They all look alike – especially when they are newborn. I'm sure I have got it wrong once or twice myself. I'm sure every baby girl has been called a boy at some point and vice versa. However, at 17 months, my daughter still gets called a boy almost daily. Obviously I'm biased, but she is absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful big brown eyes, thick long lashes and the cutest chubby cheeks and a mischievous smile! It is clear to me she is a girl. But even I can see why she gets confused for a boy. She's never had too much hair which doesn't help, but it’s her clothing that seems to confuse people.

My girl is far from a delicate flower. She is obsessed with climbing, constantly combing the ground for sticks and stones, picking up handfuls of dirt, darting about the place and generally being very loud and explosive! I try to reflect her personality in her clothing – she's generally in jeans or leggings with lots of bold patterns and bright colours. Some days she is top-to-toe in pink but it just doesn't look right…it's not who she is. Besides, dresses are not practical attire for climbing! My daughter is dressed by either my husband or I and we both buy her clothes (I know right!? A man shopping for or dressing a baby? unthinkable!) so it stands to reason that her style would also reflect our own! My husband and I have a very relaxed style (he is slightly more relaxed than me!), mainly jeans, tees, hoodies. Our clothing preferences definitely influence how we dress her.

Selection of outfits LB has been called a boy in. Floral prints, pinks and dress...

I know a lot of people get quite het up about girls being mistaken for boys, last week I read a news article about mums gluing bows to their baby’s head so that people know they're girls. Is it really that big of a deal if your baby girl is called a boy?’ Generally it really doesn’t bother me when I’m in that situation. As mentioned, she's rarely dressed overly ‘girly’ and it often isn’t immediately obvious that she is a girl (although she has been mistaken for a boy while in a dress, in her lilac pushchair, even in a top with 'Girl' printed across the chest!!). Most of the time it's passing comments like "isn't 'he' lovely", "What a lovely little 'boy'", "'He's' very cheerful". Sometimes I just drop a subtle 'she' into the conversation to correct them, sometimes I just let it slide and nod along – I don't want to embarrass anyone and it doesn't offend me or my daughter.

There have, however, been a few occasions that have really bugged me...

When on holiday in America, a shop assistant remarked 'he is adorable', to which I instinctively replied 'she is'. Instead of apologising and moving on she got quite worked up and said she would find something more 'appropriate' for her to wear (she was wearing blue shorts and a Led Zeppelin tee at the time). Another incident occurred at our local children's centre whilst LB and I were trying a new class. A mum I recognised from dance class was there; "I know you from dancing don't I?" she said…"I didn't recognise her [referring to my daughter] as you have dressed her up as a boy today". I hadn't 'dressed her up as a boy', she had jeans and a grey top!  Ironically, this lady was also in jeans and grey top (I wish I had had the guts to point that out to her)! Who stipulated baby girls can’t wear jeans? Is it just certain colours she’s ‘supposed’ to avoid?

I would bet that at least half of the women reading this are wearing some kind of denim/jersey combo in neutral colours. It's acceptable as a woman, no one bats an eyelid. But for an infant it seems to baffle and confuse people if girls are dressed in neutral colours. I admit to buying LB clothes from the boys section, but I'm sure she's never read the label and thought 'oh dear, this is boys, does that mean I am a boy?'. It often seems that boys have claimed blue, green, orange, red and yellow, as theirs; while girls are limited to a palette of pinks and creams. LBs favourite colour is yellow and I love her to be in bright bold colours to reflect her bold personality but its often not available in the girls section.

To clarify, I've never purposefully 'dressed my daughter up as a boy', there is no agenda to my choice of clothes for her. I am not trying to make any big statements about gender equality, I'm not trying to confuse anyone. The way we dress her suits her personality, reflects our own and most importantly - she looks totally rad!! And I'm not going to change how I dress her because it confuses people. I don't care that she gets mistaken for a boy, that's society’s problem, not ours.  What I do mind is people telling me how I should be dressing my daughter, that's just not cool.

If you are ever unsure of an infants gender, play it safe, go for - 'they'. It might not bother me but some parents may get offended (the ones that glue bows to their child's heads for instance).


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