Time to make some mum friends!
This is a tough topic for me to write about as I am revealing insecurities perhaps even people closest to me are unaware of...
Making friends…it has never come easy to me. Ever since I can remember I’ve found it tough to make new friends. Of course, I have a brilliant group of friends that I have known most of my life. They know me inside and out, I am completely comfortable around them and we have a lot of laughs. But those friendships began in childhood and have had years to grow, cultivate and evolve. I have never had much interest in forming new friendships, opening myself up to new people, time and energy getting to know them, letting them in and revealing the real me. The whole idea feels me with dread! 'I have friends? Why do I need other friends?' I would think to myself.
Until now...
This first year of parenting has been a whirlwind and I feel like it is only now that I have managed to catch my breath and reflect on my new ‘life’. As I get used to my new role as 'Stay at home mum' I can certainly acknowledge and enjoy the huge benefits of getting to spend all my time with my beautiful girl and not miss a moment. However, it also comes with some drawbacks. Although I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to remain at home, it can be extremely lonely at times.
Some days go by without an adult conversation…I have even been known to strike up a conversation with the postman just to have some adult interaction! Other days I might bombard my husband with every thought I’ve had in my head all day long – the moment he walks through the door. Blogging has been a great outlet for me, it enables me to share my thoughts and opinions in a way I really miss now I am not in work and don’t have regular interactions with other colleagues, acquaintances, contacts etc.
I am not a hermit by any means. We have several classes we attend weekly, I am out walking the dog, going into town, going to the local coffee shop and so on. But still, my companion is a one-year-old, and although we chat away all day, her limited vocabulary (mostly consisting of babbling with the occasional attempt at a word) can sometimes make it hard for conversation to flow! I have spoken before about my two best friends who had babies the same time as me, and although we are super close and talk most days, geographically we are miles apart.
After a year of parenting and a whole lot of classes/activities, the best I have mustered up in the way of ‘new’ friendships is a retired older couple. They take their great niece to classes I attend, and although they are quite lovely, I feel like I really need to make some new 'Mum friends' ('Parent friends' I should say, stay at home dads I would just as happily befriend). I think it is important for both myself and my daughter that I increase our social circle.
Sometimes the loneliest moments are at baby groups, where everyone seems to be friends and getting along and I look in from the outside with envy, feeling quite unpopular and wondering why I cant just be more outgoing. It almost feels like I am back at school, not fitting in with the popular kids! But how do you make friends as an adult? My daughter will go up to another child and hug them or stroke their hair. I'm not sure this kind of approach would work as well for me? And if it did, I’m not sure those reciprocating my affections are the kind of people I’d actually want to befriend!
I have really been pushing my boundaries recently by attending new classes and trying to strike up conversations with other parents. But as I have said, I find it tough to make new friends. I am incredibly shy and awkward around new people and find large groups rather intimidating. I think I am quite a nice person. I try to be, it's possible I am marginally funny too! So why do I find it so hard? I imagine I am not alone and it is possible that I am surrounded by mums feeling similar. There are actual websites akin to dating sites to find mum friends, so I cant be alone!
So... New Year, new friends. I'm on the prowl! I am going to make more of an effort to befriend parents at classes and I will also consider joining a 'mumsmeetup' type site. I will report back with my findings of course. Both my husband and I can be socially awkward and that's not something I want to pass on to my daughter (at the moment she is a bit of a social butterfly however, making friends with other children of all ages). It is time to leave my insecurities behind and do what is best for my daughter, and for my own sanity!
Please check out my Etsy Store - www.etsy.com/uk/shop/OneLittleBearLTD
Follow me on Instagram - www.instagram.com/onelittlebearltd
Follow me on Facebook - www.facebook.com/OneLittleBear/
Making friends…it has never come easy to me. Ever since I can remember I’ve found it tough to make new friends. Of course, I have a brilliant group of friends that I have known most of my life. They know me inside and out, I am completely comfortable around them and we have a lot of laughs. But those friendships began in childhood and have had years to grow, cultivate and evolve. I have never had much interest in forming new friendships, opening myself up to new people, time and energy getting to know them, letting them in and revealing the real me. The whole idea feels me with dread! 'I have friends? Why do I need other friends?' I would think to myself.
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| My Awesome Best Friends! Looking forward to meeting up over Christmas |
Until now...
This first year of parenting has been a whirlwind and I feel like it is only now that I have managed to catch my breath and reflect on my new ‘life’. As I get used to my new role as 'Stay at home mum' I can certainly acknowledge and enjoy the huge benefits of getting to spend all my time with my beautiful girl and not miss a moment. However, it also comes with some drawbacks. Although I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to remain at home, it can be extremely lonely at times.
Some days go by without an adult conversation…I have even been known to strike up a conversation with the postman just to have some adult interaction! Other days I might bombard my husband with every thought I’ve had in my head all day long – the moment he walks through the door. Blogging has been a great outlet for me, it enables me to share my thoughts and opinions in a way I really miss now I am not in work and don’t have regular interactions with other colleagues, acquaintances, contacts etc.
I am not a hermit by any means. We have several classes we attend weekly, I am out walking the dog, going into town, going to the local coffee shop and so on. But still, my companion is a one-year-old, and although we chat away all day, her limited vocabulary (mostly consisting of babbling with the occasional attempt at a word) can sometimes make it hard for conversation to flow! I have spoken before about my two best friends who had babies the same time as me, and although we are super close and talk most days, geographically we are miles apart.
After a year of parenting and a whole lot of classes/activities, the best I have mustered up in the way of ‘new’ friendships is a retired older couple. They take their great niece to classes I attend, and although they are quite lovely, I feel like I really need to make some new 'Mum friends' ('Parent friends' I should say, stay at home dads I would just as happily befriend). I think it is important for both myself and my daughter that I increase our social circle.
Sometimes the loneliest moments are at baby groups, where everyone seems to be friends and getting along and I look in from the outside with envy, feeling quite unpopular and wondering why I cant just be more outgoing. It almost feels like I am back at school, not fitting in with the popular kids! But how do you make friends as an adult? My daughter will go up to another child and hug them or stroke their hair. I'm not sure this kind of approach would work as well for me? And if it did, I’m not sure those reciprocating my affections are the kind of people I’d actually want to befriend!
I have really been pushing my boundaries recently by attending new classes and trying to strike up conversations with other parents. But as I have said, I find it tough to make new friends. I am incredibly shy and awkward around new people and find large groups rather intimidating. I think I am quite a nice person. I try to be, it's possible I am marginally funny too! So why do I find it so hard? I imagine I am not alone and it is possible that I am surrounded by mums feeling similar. There are actual websites akin to dating sites to find mum friends, so I cant be alone!
So... New Year, new friends. I'm on the prowl! I am going to make more of an effort to befriend parents at classes and I will also consider joining a 'mumsmeetup' type site. I will report back with my findings of course. Both my husband and I can be socially awkward and that's not something I want to pass on to my daughter (at the moment she is a bit of a social butterfly however, making friends with other children of all ages). It is time to leave my insecurities behind and do what is best for my daughter, and for my own sanity!
Please check out my Etsy Store - www.etsy.com/uk/shop/OneLittleBearLTD
Follow me on Instagram - www.instagram.com/onelittlebearltd
Follow me on Facebook - www.facebook.com/OneLittleBear/
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