Pregnancy First Time VS Subsequent Pregnancies

Pregnancy has been very different second time round, thankfully I have been less sick! I also haven't been scaring the elderly in Sainsburys due to my super loud hiccups, a symptom from my first pregnancy that annoyed my entire office and scared the living daylights out of me when I had my epidural (being told if I moved it could paralyse me when hiccups are completely involuntary). But aside from the differing symptoms, and the fact that this time round we simply can't afford a Nandos every time I request one (as it's the second blog in a row it's been mentioned I'm hoping hubby will take me this weekend!?), anyway, I thought I would review just how different it has been second time round. From the point of view of a SAHM. 

Keeping the secret! 

First time - Your friends wonder why you are not drinking? Your clothes are fitted and you start to have to hide your tiny bump. Most of the people you socialise with are kid free and tend to be oblivious to the signs. 

Subsequent pregnancy - You no longer go out anymore, no one sees you decline alcohol. Comfy clothes are preference so a bump is not visible until at least half way through, and even if it is its often mistaken for baby weight left over from the last kid! Any mum friends just know straight away.

Sleep! 

First time - You get home from work, chill out in front of the telly and go to bed as early as you like! You're not woken until the next morning (until your bladder starts to take over). Weekends are full of lay ins, naps, and binge watching boxsets on the sofa.

Subsequent pregnancy - Once the kid is down (in my case anywhere between 8pm - 10pm) its time to rediscover your living room. Then you feel a need to have at least an hour adult time either by yourself or to hang out with your partner, heading up to bed at 11pm at the earliest. Not long after a toddler arrives in your bed to kick you until morning. Weekends are then busier than weekdays with less opportunity for sleep! 

Bending! 

First time - Its not something that ever crossed my mind until late in the third trimester. I spent my days sat at a desk, sat in my car or lounging on the sofa! 

Subsequent pregnancy - By the 100th item I've had to pick up that day I am done and it is lost to the floor wherever we may be! I seem to spend my life bending. Picking up toys, changing nappies, putting the laundry on, putting shoes on (and back on, and back on, and back on), fastening harnesses, clearing up spills. It's all day, everyday! I feel like my ribs are actually bruised and beaten! 

Peoples reactions 

First time - A level of excitement reminiscent to the reactions towards the first pregnant women that ever was! People you very rarely think about are delighted for you.

Subsequent pregnancy - 'Oh. Cool.' The response when you actually remember to mention it to friends and family.

Tummy touching 

First time - Anyone and everyone wants a feel. It's not something I enjoyed. I found it quite intrusive. I liked to rub the culprits tummy back as a demonstration of how weird it was.

Subsequent pregnancy - My assumption is I'm just not still enough for this to be a problem this time round. I've actually only had one awkward tummy rub and that was whilst stood waiting in line for the loo. 

What to buy

First time - I don't know about anyone else but I went a bit crazy! I loved buying everything new and searching around for the perfect items. Browsing the web at every lunch break and many many shopping trips to Mothercare. I had a spreadsheet with everything I needed and loved ticking things off. 

Subsequent pregnancy - Firstly there is no way, from a financial point of you, I could approach spending in the same way, I also don't have the time, energy, or inclination. As well as this I have a better idea of what is actually needed rather than what companies like to lead you to believe you need. I have made a spreadsheet this time (there is still a merchandiser inside me afterall!) but there are a select few items, majority of which I have either arranged to borrow from friends (massive thanks to Charlotte ;-)) or bought second hand. What is far more clear second time round is the very short product life of baby items, it makes sense to share between friends or buy second hand not only from a financial point of you but from an environmental stance too. And to give a quick middle finger to all those companies making billions merely for adding 'Baby' to the title of their product.

Maternity leave 

First time - Depending on when you choose to start you get a few weeks to chill out and get ready for your new arrival. First time round I had 4 (which ended up being 6) weeks of lunches out, coffee dates, shopping trips and boxset marathons accounting to 121 episodes of Gossip Girls. There was also plenty of time for packing my hospital bag and washing and ironing all baby clothes, blankets and sheets.

Subsequent pregnancy - I have told my husband I'd like to start my maternity leave and therefore he needs to arrange full time childcare of our 2 year old for the next 4-6 weeks. Sadly it seems to have fallen on deaf ears and life continues as normal, I guess I may be entitled to a lie down once in labour?

Birth plan

First time - You may have very firm ideas of how you'd like things to go but in many cases it becomes apparent very early on - you are not in charge, your body is, and you've just got to go with it

Subsequent pregnancy - The very top priority for me is planning sufficient arrangements for my first born. Providing I know she is safe and sorted I can begin to focus on no. 2. As for anything else, having been through it once, I am totally aware I will need to roll with the punches but there are things I can say outright I would like to avoid and feel more confident to say so second time round.